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So enjoy your first nine dates, and always, always, always enjoy the guac — I know I will. Ask what they care about most, whether it’s politics, social justice, religion, etc. And share yours as well — these are called passions for a reason, so people typically enjoy talking about them. This is a great question to ask on a later date to find out about any dreams they might not share up front. Giphy You don’t need to ask this in a way that pressures them into telling you if they want a relationship with you and who knows if you want a relationship with them! Even if they aren’t, that’s totally normal and doesn’t mean you don’t have chemistry. For example, I once asked a guy if he had any pets, and it turned out he had a chinchilla, which is something I never would have learned had I not asked he assured me they were legal, but he also seemed like he didn’t want to talk about it, so who knows. Giphy This is a fairly innocuous question to get a conversation started. Giphy This can be a regret or a secret dream or just a silly story, but it can be a good way to show intimacy with someone. Talk about it on your date. Giphy Ask what they’d do if they didn’t have financial constraints and you’ll get a good idea of what their ideal life looks like! Research from the American Journal of Sociology found that men felt more connected to their date when they talked about themselves, including what they like to do and what they’re passionate about.

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